Being a Righteous Father and Husband

 I know that I already talked about fathers, but this topic has been really interesting to me recently. Fatherhood is coming to my life earlier than I would probably want. I'm single currently, but in the coming years I could be a husband and father. This blog is going to be a little different from my others. I will be quoting a General Conference talk given by President Howard W. Hunter, who was the President of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. This talk was addressed to an audience of men of the church and is on the topic of being a righteous husband and father. No matter your religious affiliation, being a good, wholesome, loving father and husband is something most men desire. Of course, there are outliers, but most men are striving to become better husbands and fathers. 

The first thing that I want to quote from President Hunter is this line: "It is not good for man nor for woman to be alone. Man is not complete without woman." This is an interesting principle when you compare it to society today. Today there is a lot of independence, meaning that "I don't need anyone." I am happy by myself. " Which is totally fine, but in some aspects, having a person of the opposite sex will help you be even happier. 

Fathers and husbands are not complete without their wives and children. Men take a lot of pride in their families and will do anything for them to provide for and protect them. Some men don't, though. They don't provide, protect, and love; they leave or they don't care for the family. Some men will be unfaithful and leave the family and wife. President Hunter said, "A husband is to love his wife with all his heart and cleave unto her and none else." This is a key principle because without unity and love, the family will fall apart, especially given how the world is today. Husbands need to be faithful to their wives and do anything to avoid the temptation to break their sacred agreement with marriage. Men aren't complete with their wives and children, and some men self-sabatgoe, leaving a family broken and hurt. President Hunter quoted Spencer W. Kimball. President Kimball said "The words none else eliminate everyone and everything. The spouse then becomes pre-eminent in the life of the husband or wife and neither social life nor occupational life nor political life nor any other interest nor person nor thing shall ever take precedence over the companion spouse" 

Being faithful to your wife isn't just cheating on her; it involves pornography and other activities. President Hunter said, "Be faithful in your marriage covenants in thought, word, and deed. Pornography, flirtations, and unwholesome fantasies erode one’s character and strike at the foundation of a happy marriage." Pornography can ruin any family and can put a wedge between husband and wife. This also affects the kids as they see and feel what is happening, which can have a long-term negative impact. 

Sorry for all the rambling! Being a righteous and loving father and husband is crucial to having a successful marriage and raising your children to become amazing adults. President Hunter has some other really great things in that talk! Here is the link!

Being a Righteous Husband and Father (churchofjesuschrist.org)

Finances Within the Family

 Fiances have a huge impact on a family and can lead to great security within a family or it could lead to insecurity. I'm going to go through the positives and negatives of being financially stable and being financially unstable. But before I get into those, I know that money isn't everything to a person or even to a family. Being financially stable does have its benefits of less stress, which leads to more happiness within the family. I'm not saying that families that are financially unstable aren't happy. I know many families that aren't stable but are really happy with what they have and take the challenge on together. There have been studies of how families that are financially stable have more of a positive lifestyle and, in some ways, are happier.

Before we get into the benefits, let's define what it means to be financially stable in the United States of America. It simply means that you have control over your money and that your finances can withstand the good and bad things that can happen in the economy. Most Americans are financially stable, but debt has been on the rise for many years now. Let's get into the positive things that can happen if you are in control of your money.

First, you have better overall mental health. Finances can be a strong stressor for you and your family. Overbearing stress can lead to poor mental health, like depression and anxiety, and could even lead to sickness. When you are in control of your finances, you are less stressed. As simple as that. So, I'm currently a poor college student who has some student loans, working 20 hours a week and also going to school full time. I've never stressed about my finances more in my life. I know that I'm not the only one when I say that if I was financially stable, I would have a lot less stress in my life. 

Second, it creates stability within a family. I grew up in a household that wasn't at times financially stable, and as a kid I felt the stress my parents were going through. I have 10 siblings, four biological and 6 step, and my parents were struggling to provide. It caused a lot of contention and a lot of turbulence in my family and sometimes still does today. As a kid, I looked at my friends' families who were financially stable, and I could tell the difference. Don't get me wrong, I really appreciated all that my parents did for me, but there definitely was a different personification within the family. 

Now, there are obviously more benefits to being financially stable, but let's get into some of the negatives of being financially stable. I know that sounds really weird, but not all things are perfect, so there are some downsides to being financially stable. If you don't agree, that is totally fine with me. No problem there. This is only my perspective that isn't backed by research, so here it goes! Being financially stable could lead to your kids being spoiled and entitled if not raised correctly. It could lead to overspending, which leads to debt. It could also lead to pride. I think pride, in any circumstance, is a bad thing. 

Being financially unstable has a great negative impact on the family. Basically, it leads to the opposite of being financially unstable; poor mental health; stress; and low stability in a family. This could also lead to poor education, because in the poorer neighborhoods there are schools that don't hire the best teachers. In some cases, the children in the family will need to work to lighten the load of the parents or even work because the parents don't work. Being financially unstable could also lead to more crime.

Well, thank you for reading and I hope you have a great day!

Fathers

Fathers play a crucial role in the family. Some families have great fathers, some good, and some just plain bad, but no matter what type of father the family had, that father has left an impact on the family. Many people didn't grow up with a father. Some grew up with an abusive father, and others grew up with an absolutely devoted stud of a man that loved them and provided for them. With modern society changing its outlook on gender and specifically gender roles, fatherhood has had a bit of a turn around in its definition of what fathers do for the family. I'm going to list some roles that a father should fill to have a great impact on his children and spouse. Now, this is just my opinion and this doesn't limit the roles a man has in his family, but these are just some of the things that come to mind. Another warning, if a spouse needs to fill in a role, for example, a mother becoming a provider, is totally acceptable in my eyes, and nothing is wrong with that.

Finally, let's get into those roles! There are four roles that I personally want to fill, and what I think a perfect father would fill. These roles are: first teacher, second presider, third example, and fourth provider. 

Let's get into the first role of teacher. I personally believe that God is our Heavenly Father, which means that we are His children. I also believe that God is all knowing and has taught us everything we know at some point in time. With that all being said, I believe that our earthly fathers should follow in our Heavenly Father's footsteps. Fathers should be teachers. Teaching their children the way of life is essential for them to become the best they can be. Some of the most important life lessons that I've learned came from my father. He didn't sit me down, and he stood at a whiteboard and taught me math, but he taught me how to be a man, how to provide, how to love, and how to be there for other people. He taught me how to become the best I could become. That is what fathers should be teaching their children. Now, I'm not saying fathers can't teach math, but what I am saying is it is crucial for fathers to tap into their child's potential, not only tap into but expound and bring it to light for all to see. 

The second role that a father has is that of a presider. The father is the head of the household along with his wife. All the rules and regulations of the home should go through both of the parents. The father presides and is the authority in the home. The father should take the lead in family discussions and prayer and help anywhere he is needed. Service is a key principle when it comes to presiding. Fathers shouldn't be dictators; they should be working with the family in an equal environment but with authority and kindness. 

The third role is an example. Children should be able to look at their father and say that they want to be like him. Children learn so much from their fathers! When fathers are that good of an example to their children, the children will become better people in the future. My father is a great example of kindness, hard work, and respect. Everyone he meets, he treats them with respect and doesn't judge them from the beginning. These traits are important to me and help me become a better person. 

The fourth and final role is that of provider. Fathers should provide for their families, not just financially but with all things that are temporal, food, water, shelter. Fathers should also provide their families with spiritual and emotional help. When a family member is having a hard time emotionally, the father should provide a helping hand to get past the hardship. On the financial side, if providing, fathers should do anything in their power to keep the family afloat. Fathers should be engaged in providing for all the needs of the family.

So, this is first what I want to become as a father and what I personally think a father should be. I probably missed some roles that a father has, but these are the ones from the top of my head. Thank you for reading and I hope you have a great day!