Eustress and the Family

I'm changing the focus of this blog page! I have been writing about divorce and how it affects the family, and I wanted to broaden this to the overall topic of family relations, which will give me more principles to write about and more principles I am able to discover. So, today's blog will be about stress and how it affects the family. 

Stress is a state of mental and emotional strain caused by adverse circumstances. Growing up, I always thought that stress was a bad thing, and in most cases, it was. But there is a type of stress called eustress. This stress is a good stress, a healthy stress that portrays no threat or fear. It quickens your pulse and produces hormones that help you accomplish the task you are stressed about. The main purpose of those hormones is to give you energy and make you more alert. Wendy Berry Mendes said, "Not all stress is necessarily bad for you." and I totally agree with that statement. An example of eustress would be going on a first date. The stress isn't bad, you are excited to meet up with this person, and you want to "perform" as best you can, so the stress is there to help you do that. Utilizing your normal body function under stress is crucial to keep you from overstressing about other things. It helps you create a balance in your life, which enables you to be more yourself. Stress can be a good thing.

Now, you can probably see the connection between eustress and the family. Managing stress within your family is key to having a happy and loving family. If there is stress and contention in the family, there will be more disconnect, more room for hate, and some short fuses for the members of the family. In my family, stress management was not handled very well. For example, my dad is a truck driver, so he was gone for months at a time. The house would not be cleaned to his standards. My dad would call my mom and warn her that he was coming home. She would frantically give all my siblings and I chores to do in the home before Dad got home. This was very stressful because we were catching up on chores from months ago in a short amount of time. If we just kept up the house, we wouldn't have the stress of catching up on chores. 

This is also an example of eustress because we were stressed about something that needed to be done. It might have been distressing for some of my siblings and even my mom, but our goal was to have our home in the shape that my dad would have liked it to be. Our pulses raced; our hormones shot up which enhanced our ability to do our work. 

How do you create eustress instead of distress in the family? I'm not personally a parent, but from observing my parents and how they managed stress, a key principle to follow is to lead by example. Show your children that this stressful situation will help you be motivated, not debilitated. For example, leading your children to hurry and clean the house can be stressful, but teaching them the stress can be channeled to enhance and motivate you. Another way to create eustress in the family is to share the possible results of reaching your goal. So, if you are trying to help an old lady in your neighborhood and the project is running late and your family has some very important plans. As a parent, you can motivate your child by explaining the advantages of your service. This might motivate them to do the work more efficiently and effectively. 

In closing, I hope this helped you learn a little more about eustress and the family. It's important to understand that not all stress is bad. Eustress helps us be motivated and also creates a feeling of fulfillment. To be honest, I was stressed about writing this blog, but I channeled that stress to motivate me, and now that I am closing it, I am fulfilled. 

Thank you, and I hope you have a great day!